Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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