Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize