Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize