Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
