You really coming over, don't trick.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
