How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
