I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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