She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
