That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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