everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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