Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
