did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
