My nipple is on Facebook.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Michael Bay diarrhea
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
