I just saw a hot homeless man
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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