Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
