He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
