He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
