A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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