no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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