i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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