I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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