we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
