Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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