never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
