U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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