tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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