Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
