I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
