Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
