I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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