Your tits are I can't wait for
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he wants to bone in the snuggie
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
