Who did Billy Mays play for?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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