He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
