I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
