i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
