AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize