The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
