I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
