I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
