from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize