I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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