I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
