I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize