I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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