You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
