i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
