You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
