South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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