so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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