she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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