i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
