i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize