Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
