Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Boobs are out for the taking
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Randomize
