ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
