you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
